What the Cat Dragged In
by Pineapple Potpourri
Summary: Ravage reflects on how his life as a normal Decepticon spy is changed abruptly by a secret Starscream has been hiding for far too long.
1. The Revenge and the Bath Bubbles

Authors Note: This is purely out of sheer boredness. If you actually happen to like it, good for you.

Ravage growled angrily under his breath. The dark clouds had come from nowhere, choosing the hour he decided to patrol away from base to attack him. The normally dry path back to the cave had become slick with mud, making it harder for him to climb over the hill.

After falling several times the casseticon finally reached the top, his claws digging as deep as possible to lift his bulky frame up. He quickly shook himself free of the hold and trotted down the other side of the slope toward the small patch of grass nearby.

He crouched low, shifting around in the cover of foliage while his crimson optics scanned for any signs of intruders. After deeming the area safe, he sent the all clear to the base's central computer; which triggered the mouth of the cave to open. The feline made on last sweep, before scampered off down the trail. The panel door closed behind him, and panting, he padded off in the direction of his quarters.

He immediately regretted taking the shortcut past the rec room the moment he went around the corner. Standing just in front of the open door was his master Soundwave, along with the two youngest creations—Rumble and Frenzy. From the looks of it the two twins had decided to have another paintball fight; they were both covered in sticky paint.

He almost turned back to escape, but once Frenzy spotted him he knew that plan was over. Rumble followed his brother's lead in ratting him out, snickering and pointing at him. Ravage felt his dirty shell's temperature rise slightly, whether from embarrassment or annoyance, he wasn't sure.

Just his luck, the two hadn't gotten over him recording over their tapes. Fragging sons of glitches. What was so special about catching the leader and that stupid flyer together anyway? It's not like no one else had caught on to that already…

"Ravage." The monotone voice echoed the knowledge of his presence through the long hallway, making the black bot whimper.

Soundwave waved the other two away, and they ran off to start trouble somewhere else. They didn't mind turning back to taunt him however, Frenzy pulling his optic lid down with his middle digit with Rumble just behind him sticking his metal tongue out.

Ravage growled lowly, feeling the urge to clamp his jaws around that hand and tear it off. His teeth bared slightly, and standing up on his haunches he tried to run after the two.

Two large hands put an end to that, picking him up to level with a masked face. The flashing of his eyes from yellow to red was the only change of expression his creator ever had, as they were the only thing visible of his face. Ravage instantly forgot about his siblings, pulling his clawed hind legs up to rest on the large glass chassis.

He stuck his own tongue out, panting softly to calm himself. The larger mech's presence managed to soothe him for a minute, but then he recalled why he was even being man-handled. He whimpered again, gently licking the hands that held him up.

"It's no use Ravage, you are going to take a bath." Soundwave's voice seemed to pitch a little higher than usual; Ravage thought he must enjoy torturing him…Frenzy was gonna pay for this… with his finger!

After being cradled in one arm, the communication officer proceeded to walk down the hall, and turned at an adjacent corridor. Ravage turned to look into the security room as they passed it and caught a glimpse of Buzzsaw staring wide eyed at one the monitors.

Laserbeak had swooped over their creator's head to glide in through the open door, and after taking a glance at the screen himself, fell straight out of the air mid-flight. He squawked as he hit the metal floor, and shook himself off.

Ravage felt the frame holding him tense slightly. "Laser?" The condor screeched and waddled over, all the while looking down. He didn't hesitate to perch on the shoulder above ravage, and Soundwave, who already knew what was playing, went on until the white light became brighter at the end of the hall.

They exited out the back of the base, the transparent wall lifting for them. The bland colorless spaces inside disappeared as they exited into the sunny valley. Slugfest was oozing up and down the side of the rock just outside the door.

Laserbeak flew off to circle around a foraging squirrel, and the panther was carefully placed on his hind legs in the grass below. A vat of water was drawn up from a pipe into what humans called a 'kiddie pool' and Ravage hissed in protest as he was plopped inside.

He stayed unmoving for a good moment, imagining what he would do to the little brats when he got back inside. Returning to the sane world, he realized his predicament and sloshed around before splashing his master. Heh, now he had his sweet revenge—but oh frag! here came the bubbles!

Ravage shrieked and pulled away from the hand holding his foreleg, Soundwave had dumped a bucket of car wash fluid over him and gotten a sponge to scrub away the dirt. After all the caked mud had been washed away completely he received a scratch behind his ears and was lifted from the water.

Tail wagging in relief, he jumped down to scamper after his bird counterpart. Laserbeak was happy to play along, landing on his back while the bipedal cat chased after the terrified rodent.

An hour or so passed before the brown flurry that was the squirrel either passed out or died of exhaustion, as the cat chased on ground and the bird in the trees. Ravage groaned in annoyance, he hadn't finished playing with his new toy. Soundwave sat on a rock close by, and taking a moment to stand he motioned them towards the mirror door. What appeared to be a rock face flickered and turned into a door, which slid away to reveal the darkness.

Ravage detected high noise levels and ran off ahead to investigate, with the others just behind. As it turned out it was Megatron interrogating a cringing rumble, while Frenzy was being glared at by Starscream. "How many times have I told you to stop eavesdropping on things that have nothing to do with you!"

"Well maybe you should think of telling 'Screamer to be a little quieter when you're—"

"What is the problem Megatron?" Soundwave echoed upon entering. Frenzy couldn't help giggling at the convenient interruption.

The silver con grumbled at his two commanders before whipping around and disappearing into the conference room. Starscream glanced around and slowly backed away… and that was the last Ravage saw of him that day.

Barricade and Shockwave were charged with rounding up the two little spies, and after several walls were blasted they were finally locked away in their room. Everyone else had went to recharge long ago, and only Skorponok, Thundercracker, and Brawl remained awake to guard the base.

Skorponok turned out to be a great partner for sentry duty, he didn't seem to mind sitting outside in the dark, he hardly even moved. The only thing that bothered Ravage was that the slitted yellow orbs were always set on him. Ravage endured the creepy silence until his late shift was over, then left the unmoving sentinel to be replaced by Blackout.

He trotted off to a side entrance that only minicons could use, a hole he had dug himself that lead right beneath the floorboards and into a vent compartment. Astrotrain's distinct whistle could be heard far off in the distance; he was probably hauling some cargo off to separate headquarters. Squeezing into the tunnel he squirmed his way out the air duct and headed for the rec room. At least he could get some peace now that everyone was gone…

Ratbat flew idly by, and Ravage stopped to watch him swoop past quickly, with Overkill racing after him. Ratbat's head turned to glance back as he kepy flapping and he smacked into the transparent door at the end of the hall. Overkill waited till he slid down the wall to sit on him.

Leaping on to the high metal bench at the center of the room, the main cpu automatically turned on the datascreen before him. He curled up and watched the channels flash until it landed on his favorite show. When they first made this place their hideout Barricade took the liberty of installing a common satellite to view human shows. The animal channel usually played reruns at this time of night, but he'd gotten lucky today. He snickered inside when a lion finally snagged something it was after. He'd feel bad for the dumb animal's death later.

The room seemed to fade and wash away after a while, and Ravage felt his optic lids become heavy before they closed altogether. Next thing he woke up to find himself in someone's arms again. The tv was still on… _"We'll get back to the season finale of 'As the Kitchen Sinks' when return from these messages…"_

He looked up to find Soundwave smiling faintly down at him, and for the first time he saw the facemask had retracted. He lay, cradled in the strong arms, both confused and happy. Before his 'father' thought better of the decision, he leaned up to lick the revealed faceplates while he had a chance. Soundwave merely patted his back before pulling away.

Although he looked different now, the officer still had the same distant monotone voice, but ravage couldn't want it any other way. "You have had a long day so I thought it wise to keep you company." Ravage nodded in agreement, but growled annoyingly at the change of channel. "Soundwave had switched to the show 'Sabrina' but did not agree with their statements so again changed to a soap opera." Ravage cocked his head to the side for a question.

"The human female suggested that if a black cat crossed your path you would receive bad luck, but that is strange since Ravage is the best thing to happen to Soundwave." The mech stated, sensing the smaller one's unsettlement. Ravage purred quietly, crawling into his master's lap and resting his head on the chassis once more. The comforting whirling of a spark could be heard by his sharp audios, helping him drift off to peaceful recharge.


	2. Is It Recording?

**Author's Note:** If you happen to like it then good for you I guess. I thought it was too short and kept running on and on. Oh well, I'm putting it all up just because.

**Disclaimer-** I don't own nothin'. Has/Tak does.

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**UPDATE: **I decided to draw a pic of Ravage (the movie version) with his new friend from this chapter, it's not technically finished, but I figure I'll update the story before doing any more drawings (if anyone even likes the first one that is). Let me know what you think here or on Deviantart. The link is on my profile page since the link doesn't work in this.

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He should have felt happy that he was getting any attention from their leader, but he just felt annoyed. Megatron had decided that eavesdropping on the other Decepticons via a hidden camera would make it easy to tell who was actually doing their jobs. The only trouble was he couldn't trust anyone else to do it but Soundwave, who had went off on a week long mission with some of his brothers—which left the dirty job to him.

Ravage didn't know whether this would make it awkward when everyone was caught sleeping on the job when he wasn't. If they didn't figure it out on their own they would certainly hear it from the twins, since they'd happily rat him out any day.

The camera's battery pack and radiowave transmitter had been strapped on his underbelly, with the snake camera itself hidden inside his side cannon's thruster tube, and the microphone was 'strategically' placed on his snout.

The transmitter would send live video feed to the Nemesis' main computer which would relay the data to the screen in the Security hall. If he got into trouble he could be in real danger, with the camera blocking the missile launcher's way he didn't have any way to attack… but his leader didn't seem to care much about that.

"Is it recording?" Megatron asked turning to Starscream.

The seeker nodded, making sure the camera was secure then letting go off the cat so it could leave the room.

The metal feline strode down the hallway towards the energon storage room, where he knew there was bound to be someone.

He was right, over in the corner of the large room were the other two seekers Thundercracker and Skywarp. He ducked under a table and laid on his side. He would probably get yelled at for making weird angles, but the extra weight made him tired quickly.

The two mechs were sitting at a table, some human game with black and white pieces in front of them.

"You're move 'Warp."

"…What color am I again?"

"You're black 'Warp. Didn't you pay attention when I explained it?"

"But that's not fair! You're always white, and you always win!"

"So what's your point 'Warp?"

"…my point is TC, I want to be white!"

The camera shook slightly, then the screen went blank.

--

Next time it turned on he was in the rec room, where AstroTrain and Barricade were talking.

It turned out to be much easier to record them, as they both had their eyes fixed on the monitor screen that made the entire wall.

"Wow, there are so many new channels!" the purple and black mech seemed slightly awed as he turned to face the other.

The interceptor nodded with a slight smirk; obviously he had rerouted their computer's satellite network. "Yeah, I had Frenzy jump to our neighbor's roof and wire us free cable."

Astrotrain nodded at first, but then his face twisted in confusion. "…We have neighbors?"

--

Ravage's panting could be heard over the microphone, which annoyed Megatron almost as much as his subordinates. "How can my most trusted soldiers be sitting around doing nothing? I gave them their orders didn't I?"

"Yes, of course you did Lord Megatron sir." Starscream said nodding.

Megatron growled at his air commander. "That was a retirical question Starscream."

"You mean rhetorical question your highness?"

"Oh, whatever! Just get out of my sight before I decide to take out my frustration on you!"

"As you wish my lord." The seeker bowed as he exited the room.

--

It was a few minutes later that the video feed shut on again, this time focusing in on a small mech that was sliding happily up and down the wall. Slugfest's slime trail was thick on the shiny silver metal, and he seemed pretty content just moving around. The con had gotten to wear those stupid sticky wall shoes, and seemed to be having fun. Ravage was about to trot away when he his brother suddenly stopped mid-slide staring behind him. Ravage turned back just as a voice sounded loudly through the hallway.

"Psst! Up here!" a high-pitched squeaky voice had come from no where.

Slugfest slid back up slightly then froze as a white bunny appeared before him. Normally he would have been overjoyed to see such and adorable animal, but this bunny was odd. Blood splatters had dried on it's thick fur, and it's eyes were large and red. Slugfest gulped as he slowly slid downward.

"Kill them. Kill them all!"

Ravage nearly ran off and left his brother alone, but as he couldn't see the creature that was talking, he thought it better to just stay put for a second. Slugfest had continued to slip down to the wall until he reached the floor, the evil; bunny bouncing closer anytime he got too far away.

"Do it soon or I will!" and the bunny disappeared in a black puff of smoke.

Slugfest looked over at his older brother, then back to the place the bunny had been.

"Slime?"

Ravage padded over and picked his smaller brother up by the neck, dragging him as he ran off down the hallway. As much as he hated them sometimes, he wasn't about to let them get killed by anyone, after all the only person allowed to hurt them was him.

Ravage carefully put his brother in the rec room with the two seekers, and went out to look for someone else to get in trouble.

--

"Primus Shockwave! That's the third hole you blew in the base just this week! I know having only one must give you bad depth perception, but come on! Haven't you ever heard of a door?" Hook looked more annoyed then ravage had seen him in a while.

"Calm down Hook, I thought I saw one of those blasted humans in here so I-- "

"Oh, go tell it to your daddy Megatron! I'm the one that's gotta help clean this mess up! The least you could do is try to hit someone for once."

"Excuse you? I have perfect aim for your information, I only missed them because…"

Ravage sat still as they both wandered off out of the hole outside, not bothering to listen in anymore, already knowing how that argument would end.

Instead he ran out past them, deciding to circle the base a few times before going back giving up and going back to Megatron.

When he came around to the back of the base he found Starscream sitting alone in a field of bright yellow flowers. He ducked down to the soft ground and scooted in as close as possible. The subcommander looked peaceful and serene, sitting cross-legged on a boulder with a flower in his hand.

Ravage watched as one by one the petals were plucked, Starscream mumbling something odd to himself under his breath. The small cat nearly jumped out of his iron casing, the seeker had suddenly jumped up; a look of pure glee on his face.

"He loves me!" He squealed, doing what Ravage knew from humans to be a victory dance while he jumping around and yelling. _'What a weird—'_

Ravage felt his train of thought leave him when the seeker's giggles turned to high-pitched screams. The casseticon looked up again, Starscream was getting attacked by some small brown blur… It was probably so sick of hearing the seeker that it decided to take matters into it's own…paws.

The con turned his head to the side, staring at the furry creature as it mauled the seeker's face. Wait, he knew that squirrel!

Ravage stood up from the ground, tail swaying back and forth as he hissed at the rodent. The squirrel paused and stared over at the cat before hopping to the ground and running for the nearest tree.

Ravage nodded to Starscream as he tore after the little ball of fur, and realizing what he meant, the seeker ran after it too.

When Ravage finally caught up and chased it up a tree, Starscream shot the branch down, letting the squirrel fall to the ground. Realizing it had nowhere safe to hide, it cringed in fear as the subcommander turned his gun at it.

At first Ravage thought they were just playing a game, running after it for fun then going back to the base; but apparently the jet thought it was okay to kill it. Ravage growled and stood over the tiny creature. No matter what it did it was still a defenseless little critter that just wanted to play with them. Even as a mechanical animal-like being, Ravage still understood these organics, and he knew he meant no harm… besides could you blame him for wanting Starscream to shut up?

The seeker sighed, realizing how the other felt and lowered his weapon, letting it deactivate. He patted the smaller robot's head, and turned back toward the base, whistling softly when the cat didn't follow him. Ravage sat on his haunches so he could see the still cowering rodent beneath him. He licked the furry face and picked his friend up carefully in his metal jaws, and went back to the tree. Digging his claws into the bark he pulled himself up and placed the squirrel on another branch. It still looked scare, but when Ravage jumped to the ground and turned back, it scurried to the end of the twig and twitched it's tail happily.

The two decepticons started walking back to the front of the base, Starscream not saying anything until the entrance gate came into view. Reaching down to the wires underneath Ravage's belly, he pulled the audio feed cable out. Ravage paused and turned his head to the side, again as a question. "I don't want Megatron to hear this, but keep walking so he doesn't notice anything okay?" Ravage nodded in response.

"Could you do me a big favor and not tell anyone about that?"

Ravage stared at him for a while, and Starscream knew exactly what he was thinking.

'_Sure, but only if you leave my brothers alone for a while.'_

Starscream smiled and patted the head again. "You know, your not so bad after all. Too bad the twin brats you call little brothers are--"

Ravage growled again, biting the hand and chasing the seeker all the way back to the gate of the base. While the doors began to open, Starscream got everything he deserved for talking about Rumble and Frenzy that way. The tiny con had ripped out the wires that controlled the seeker's legs, leaving him to drag his way to the med bay.

The mech didn't know how long he had been biting Starscream before he felt a hand on his back, and looking up saw his leader glaring at his sky commander.

"Good boy Ravage. I think you've earned yourself a day off." Megatron smirked down at the cat, scratching him behind his audio receptors.

Ravage purred gently at the attention, and then turned back to his new chew toy.

Megatron stopped him before he could do anymore damage, and bent down to the seeker and lifted his head up. "Starscream report."

The jet glared at his leader. "Do I really have to?"

Megatron growled lowly making the mech beneath him whimper slightly.

Starscream sighed. "Today is Friday and the weather is fine, temperature is eighty degrees, the sky is clear, there's been no accidents or--"

Megatron groaned. "I meant about you Starscream, I don't need a fragging news update! For someone who claims to be so smart, you can be dense sometimes.

"Mock me all you want Megatron, because believe it or not I've got better things on my mind then you."

"Well if that's true, then I'm sure you don't need my help." The silver mech rose to his feet, waving to Ravage, turned back to the base.

"…You really plan on just leaving me here Megatron?"

Starscream sounded a little hurt, but that just made it even more fun to his leader.

"Your right Starscream, I couldn't do that… Ravage get him for me will you?"

Ravage nodded and ran over the seeker, grabbing him by the leg and to drag him along the ground.

Starscream squealed again, trying to get away by pulling the other way, but as weak as he was it was no use. By the time they had reached the medical bay Starscream's foot had been chewed through, and Hook was more annoyed than before.

"I don't see why I should have to fix him!" Hook yelled, turning on Megatron.

Ravage panted as he exited the room, finally camera free, and skulked off toward his side exit again. Squeezing his way through the tight space, he popped out on the other side of the thick wall, and ran off to the back of the base for the last time today. Slugfest had finally taken off his wall suction shoes, and was rolling around in the grass with his spiked tail in the air. Up in the tallest treetop his condor brothers cawed from their perch. Frenzy and Rumble must have snuck out of their room again, as they were playing tag with each other near the lake.

Ravage sighed and lay down on his side. Some of his brothers were here, but not all of them, and it made him feel a lot better knowing they were always nearby if he needed to protect them. Right now he felt a bit helpless, and not knowing if Soundwave or the others were alright made the energon in his tanks churn.

'_What if one of them is hurt? What if they all are? How am I supposed to know if they haven't come back yet…'_

A long, low whistle sounded in the distance, and Ravage jumped to his feet. _'Finally their back!'_

A minute later and Astrotrain pulled up, his side compartment opening to release the mechs inside his cargo dock. Soundwave stepped out, Squawktalk and RatBat on his shoulders, and Overkill and Beastbox at his feet.

Ravage bounced around on his hind legs with joy, taking to all fours to reach them faster. Frenzy and Rumble stopped playing and ran towards Soundwave, the condors swooped down to greet Ratbat and Squawktalk; and even Slugfest waddled over to them.

Ravage reached their master first, and jumped up onto his chassis. The tall mech cradled the tiny cat in his arms and rolled him over to tickle his underbelly. Ravage kicked out his legs in response, and as the others got closer he hoped down, letting his brothers get some attention too.

Frenzy and Rumble ran into their father's arms and he gave them a loving, yet crushing hug. "Soundwave! We missed you!" the two cried happily.

"Frenzy, Rumble…" as usual his voice didn't change, but they all knew he missed them too. He slowly lowered his twin younglings to the ground, and bent down to hug Slugfest too.

Beastbox left the group and climbed up a tree, the four flyers landing next to him. Ravage looked up at them for a moment, and noticed a fuzzy face staring back down at him. The cassette ran to the others, popping up beside his five brothers and his friend.

The squirrel twitched it's tail again and chattered it's teeth, trying to communicate with him. Ravage shook his head in understanding. 'I am called Ravage. What is your designation?'

The squirrel chattered again, but this time twitched his whiskers.

'Nutters it is then. Friends?'

Nutters the squirrel circled all around Ravage, crawling from his tail to his legs, then stopping on his head. Ravage panted and sat down again.

Even if the rest of the day had been a complete waste, at least he had made one new friend today.

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**Author's Note:** Don't even ask. If you read it all the way through then kudos to you. If no one reads this at all, then I'll know for sure it's a goner. I'm so optimistic. XD Anyway, go look at the darn picture, I didn't spend ten minutes of my time for nothing! XP


	3. What Did You Say?

**Author's Note-** Thanks for the really random review (you know who you are), it actually made me decide to update this instead of trash it. I can finally say this is a chapter I like, so hooray for me… and extremely bored fans. Realize though that this chappy doesn't focus on Ravage, or any specific tf for that matter, it was just for fun and the sake of doing something with my life. I felt like showing a short part of their 'normal' lives and connect them all together in some way with 'hidden' messages. Some of it is probably inappropriate, but this is rated Teen for a reason. I might even proofread it for once… maybe.

**Disclaimer: I don't own TF, it's already been enslaved by Has/Tak; and I also have no affiliations with anything else mentioned in this, and that includes mtv (rofl).**

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He almost felt what humans would call nauseous as he flipped his optics on and off slowly. He rolled over on his back and pulled himself up to look around. Rumble wasn't anywhere to be seen, but quickly leaning over to check under their berth he deemed it safe to relax. Even though he was slightly older, Rumble still had a habit of getting jealous and acting like a child instead of the tough mech he pretended to be for their father.

Frenzy didn't think it would be a big deal if he and Barricade hung out on their break, but apparently Rumble didn't like being alone. As soon as he came back Rumble decided he was leaving with Swindle and Scorponok on a scouting mission. He acted as if they couldn't survive a day without each other even though they'd been apart for years. It must have been his death back on Earth that was keeping his brothers worried, and the human child they were keeping hostage wasn't making it any easier for them.

Frenzy yawned and stretched his arms as he hopped off the side of his berth. Checking his internal clock as he wiped his several blue optics, he rose from the metal beneath him and quickly headed for the door. Soundwave had been sent away earlier with Ravage to spy on the Autobots' secret mission back on Iacon, and wouldn't be back for months. The tiny silver mech had no intention of doing any of the chores their creator had left to him, but he would help his twin so they could play. He couldn't quite remember where his brother had said he'd be, his cpu was running on a half tank of energon, and he just couldn't think of it.

He headed toward the storage room and clawed his way up the counter to grab a tiny cube full of energon, and remembering a pepto bismol commercial he giggled to himself and ran back out to the hallway. Frenzy wasn't sure when he had gotten outside, but flinging the cube aside he jumped down the side steps of the communications building and spotted his brother. Now that he saw Rumble he felt part of his memory coming back, Rumble had said something about a dog, and needing a sample of it for cloning or something…

Rumble turned in his direction and waved gleefully, holding a cup in his scrawny fingers. Frenzy felt his fuel lines bubble, and it wasn't because Starscream had slipped bleach into his energon again, he had just realized how sick his brother really was. By the time he got halfway to him, Frenzy's fear of chopped up dog parts being stuffed inside a small container evaporated like the snail they poured salt on the other day. The cup had a familiar symbol on it that the mech had come to love.

"You got me coffee Rumble? So you're not mad at me then?" Frenzy hugged his brother tightly, and Rumble wobbled as he tried to straighten himself.

"Watch it Frenzy! I don't wanna get this on my paint!" He cried trying to wriggle out of the tight grip.

Frenzy pulled away and laughed at him. "Don't tell me you're afraid of a little liquid!"

"Of course I'm not scared, and it's not coffee!"

Frenzy gasped dramatically. "…You didn't really stuff the taco bell dog in there did you? 'Cause that's just sick!"

"What? Of course not, I just waited until that filthy human pulled over to Starbucks and got the sample myself!"

Frenzy blinked for a moment before he thought about it again. "… So is it a latte?"

"No, for the love of Primus it isn't coffee, it's—

--

"_S***!_ I can't believe I missed the one hour a day MTV actually plays any music!" Jazz flung the remote at his partner while he glared at Teletran's led screen. Prowl flinched at his friend's unusual temper, Jazz was normally calm through anything. He reached a hand out to the smaller mech's shoulder, but was pushed away.

"It's all your fault Prowler, I would've gotten back here faster if I didn't have ta wait for ya to catch up!" he growled lowly and pouted.

The tactician simply smiled at the other, and fought back the urge to hug him; he was just so cute when he was mad. "Well excuse me if I follow the humans' speed limit, it is a law after all." He quickly stepped aside to dodge a chair that was thrown at him. "Now calm down Jazz, as least we haven't missed CSI."

Jazz paused for a moment with a flailing minibot in one hand, and glared. "I already watched it with Perceptor, so you're gonna have to do better than that."

"What about House?"

"Saw it with Ratch'."

"Uh, how about Reno?"

"I hate that show!"

An unsuspecting Wheelie was tossed through the air towards Prowl, who ducked and let the bot fly through a window to crash several stories down on top of an even less suspecting Bluestreak.

Prowl seemed unfazed by the screaming from downstairs. "I know, what haven't we seen in forever?"

Jazz's normal smile returned as he jumped up and down. "Yeah, let's watch—

--

"_Cops!_" Swindle's short hologram yelled as he ran back to hide inside the dark gas station.

Hook turned his glowing eyes to him with an open box still in his hand. "How many?"

"Not sure, but their everywhere… we can't take all of them in this form!"

AstroTrain's violet haired figure turned to them and glared. "Well we can't leave yet, either. We still need more fuel and some food for that stupid kid!"

Swindle pushed a button on his wristwatch, calling his robotic form to him. "So what are you saying? That we should just let them catch us?"

"You guys keep searching; I'll try and hold them off!" Hook pushed open a side door and quickly snuck back to the parking lot across the street.

Swindle could hear the ignition start as he turned around. "Forget about it, I'm not getting in trouble for her, let's just go!"

"Well Megatron told us to take care of her, and I don't feel like dying because you're scared of being in jail."

Swindle wasn't a fool, he knew pretty boys like him wouldn't last long in prison. "Please?"

Astrotrain shook his head, smirking at his small friend. "Sorry Swindle, but the show must go—

--

"_On_, and on, and on! I swear that kid never shuts up!" the dark mech growled as he fidgeted with his plasma cannon.

Kup sighed as he pushed open the break room door. "Aw, go easy on him 'Hide, he doesn't know any better."

Arcee giggled as she passed the two. "Yeah, you know poor Roddy's never been—

--

"--_Laid_ down near her newborn puppies." The TV show host announced the arrival of the cutest little Earth creatures Ravage had ever seen, and he purred from his spot on the ship's floor.

Back in the Decepticon base his two condor brothers were watching the same thing, and they chirped quietly while Ratbat slept hanging from a pipe on the roof.

"…and since there are so many, they must fight to get milk from her—

--

"_Boobies_. Their called Blue-footed boobies." Hound tried his best to keep a straight face when he said it.

Mirage tilted his head so the two on his head would slip off, and sighed. "…And they found this appropriate because?"

"Because they wanted to make them hate their own existence, who knows?" Prowl crossed his arms and sighed too. He could still be with Jazz back at the base right now, not getting his foot pecked at by gang of fruity colored birds.

"Oh, I'm sure they had a very good reason Prowl." Hound said in a matter-of fact way.

"Can someone remind me why we are out here again?" Mirage said carefully swatting away a crane that seemed determined to land on him. "I swear they are worse than the Searats Beachcomber is always talking about."

The Gang of boobies from hell were attacking Prowl's helmet now, and after two hours of abuse he'd had enough. "I'll tell you why!" he yelled booting several of them into the air and turning to glare at Hound. "Because somebody thought it might be fun to do research on a bunch of stupid—

--

"_Birds!_ They were everywhere man! Crashing into windows, throwing themselves at kids like they were grenades, hiding car keys, and sporking people's eyes out! It was so awesome!"

Skywarp looked worriedly at his younger cousin. "Are you sure watching a movie like that is good for you T.C.? You know how you get nightmares about anything."

"Naw, I'll be okay. Besides, it can't be worse than that dream I had where Starscream had to hold me down while he tried to—

--

"_Pee on me?!_" Sam looked up at his friend in pure horror. "What are you nuts?"

Mikaela nearly choked on her diet coke. "Yeah, say what?"

Miles looked more disturbed than both of them. "Well someone has to do it, unless you want to…" he turned to Mikaela, with a slight grin on his face.

Miles had been begging her for some of her soda since they had entered the park, and she finally decided to give him what he asked for.

Sam tried to laugh at his now soaked friend, but winced in pain again. "…and you said you got this from the Discovery channel?" He almost felt hopeful, but then remembered he would be nauseous if it were true.

"Well yeah, but if you could just tough it out, then that'd be better for all of us." Miles shrugged shyly as he combed his sticky hair back.

Even Bumblebee's blond hologram glared at him then.

"What? You don't really want me to, do you?" Miles forced himself to swallow the corndog that was revisiting his mouth for the third time today.

Both Mikaela and 'Bradley' turned to stare down at the burned leg. Sam nearly whimpered as he tried to stand up. "You know what, I don't care if all the jellyfish in the world stung me dude, 'cause no one is about to–"

Bradley didn't give him a chance to finish before he had pulled off his pants. Miles gasped and ran to hide behind a nearby tree, and Mikaela dropped what was left of her coke before blushing and turning away.

She hadn't heard a scream so high-pitched since Starscream's last attack. Even the kids waiting for the next rollercoaster had turned to stare at them, but were quickly ushered away by their surprised parents.

Miles grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the line as not to appear as accomplices to the public strip show. So much for a peaceful vacation. "This is so—

--

"_Wrong!_" Nightbeat called out.

Blaster blinked in confusion as he reached out for his miniature Pikachu marker. "Huh?"

"You're so wrong man! Santa was in the living room with Nurse Joy when she cold cocked him with a bagpipe!"

"If there's one thing I know about humans Nightbeat, It's that they can't die of a concussion via bagpipe." Ratchet wasn't about to be questioned either, he'd been watching one too many Hospital shows on the weekends.

Firstaid chuckled as he pushed the Life Spinner towards Blaster's hologram. "Yep, so spin again buddy!"

Nightbeat glared annoyingly at the rest of them. "Did any of you consider that this might be the Scottish version of Pokémon Monopoly?"

Jazz smirked as he rolled snake eyes for the fourth time, moving his red 'Sorry' pawn up. "This ain't no Monopoly man, this is that game where people kill other people!"

"He still has to spin again…" Firstaid mumbled lowly as he pushed his pink car forward a couple spaces.

Optimus smiled as he spotted Firstaid's attempt to cheat. "Well he doesn't have to bother with that, I've got enough money to buy the house and burn down all the evidence." He threw down all the paper money he'd been hiding away underneath the table.

They all groaned, and Sam jumped clear over the table, followed by a barking Mojo who scattered everything.

"What's the matter with those two?" Prowl said from across the break room.

Jazz pouted again and put his head on the table. "Who knows, but this game is officially—

--

"_Over!_" Starscream screeched as he pushed away his leader.

"What?" Megatron was more surprised than angry.

"You heard me! I said it's over!" the air commander slapped him and stormed out, heading for his own quarters.

"…Oh, so that's what's over." He sighed and slid to the floor. "I guess forgetting his birthday wasn't such a good idea after all…" Oh well, he could wait another sixty-two centuries couldn't he? Probably not.

Megatron crawled back onto his berth and balled up like he used to when he snuck in his brother's room at night. But that was a very long time ago, and he was sure Primus didn't like him enough to rewind it all just to make him feel better. Imagining his older brother was there would have to be enough, and despite how much he missed him, Megatron was determined not to give in. He wouldn't even admit to Starscream that he still loved his brother, much less to Optimus himself. He must have underestimated how much their world's creator loved him though, because as if he could still sense his pain, Prime's voice entered his mind.

"Hello Brother." A slightly hesitant whisper came.

Megatron smiled for a moment, but then he remembered they still hated each other. "…What is it Prime?"

Optimus faltered for a moment before answering. "You're upset aren't you? What's the matter?"

"It's nothing, I'm fine." A thought struck him. "Besides, what does it matter to you if I'm upset?"

The Autobot leader sent a jolt from his own spark through their severed connection. He wasn't sure what had come over him, but for what would probably be the last time, he let them reconnect.

Megatron felt a sudden presence around him, and turning around he saw Optimus had sent a projection of his hologram.

The brown haired, blue eyed 'human' rolled towards him, and not knowing what else to do, Megatron wrapped a clawed silver hand around it and pulled it closer.

It felt like forever before the hologram spoke. "I missed you Brother."

Megatron couldn't bring himself to speak to the thing he was holding, so instead he sent a message through their temporary bond. 'I missed you too, Prime."

He felt the rising joy in his brother's spark and immediately regretted his response. "…but that doesn't mean I don't hate you."

Optimus didn't say anything, but he did pull away, and after a quiet moment he broke the bond, and his hologram disappeared.

Megatron felt his frame grow colder than it had when he was frozen, and he had a feeling Optimus might never talk to him as his 'brother' again.

He wasn't sure how many hours slipped by before he heard a light knock on his door. He perked up, hoping Starscream had forgiven him, but as the door slid open, he realized it was someone even better.

"Prime?" A thousand different feelings washed over him all at once, but his happiness defeated the rest. Now matter how excited he was, he promised himself he would never show it, even if Prime could see through his act. "…What are you doing here? Better yet, how did you get in here in the first place?" Megatron felt his anger coming back. Was he really planning an attack after what happened?

Optimus merely smiled sheepishly as he stepped closer, trying his hardest not to reach out and hold his twin. "Frenzy and Rumble were on guard duty, but they fell asleep so I took them back to their quarters."

'_Those sons of—Wait, that's not really fair to Soundwave…who was their other creator anyway? Shockwave maybe? Never mind, I don't want to know.'_ Megatron didn't bother to ask why Prime even knew where their quarters were located. "You didn't answer me. You're not plotting some kind of ambush are you?" The sudden urge to hurt his brother was coming back, and all the love in the universe wouldn't stop him from killing Prime if that was what he had planned.

Optimus seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, and finally letting go of control, he pulled his sibling into a gentle hug. "I don't care how mad you are Megatron, I'm not here to hurt you, and if I truly wanted to, don't you think I already would have already?"

He had a point, but that didn't stop Megatron from keeping his guard up. He quickly pushed away and backed into his room, not wanting his enemy to notice his weakness. He cared for him, but He wasn't willing to give up the war to be with him again, and letting him comfort him again would only make Optimus think everything would go back to normal, and that just wasn't going to happen.

"Go back to your base Prime, I don't need you." He turned away as he said it, not allowing another embrace. He heard a sigh behind him, and before he could turn around Optimus had taken him by the hand and lead him back to his berth.

The decepticon was reluctant to give in so easily, he would need a little more convincing.

"You know I love you Brother, and no matter what happens between us I will always be here for you." His voice was calm as he tugged on the clawed hand.

The silver mech smirked and laid beside his rival, rolling around until his back was against the warm spark fluttering behind him.

He sighed in contentment, and allowed Prime put his arm around him.

Megatron smiled as Optimus patted his sensitive chest and pulled him into another loving hug.

"…Great, so now I'm your Glitch?"

Optimus chuckled. "As I recall little Brother, you always were."

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**Author's Note-** Yep, that's right, I'm not all that funny, and I kinda don't like it when Oppy and Megas like each other _that_ kind of way since their 'related' and all, so I hope you didn't expect anything weird lol. Anyway, I've got to work on making things shorter so I don't waste too much time on stories like this. I'll include the mentioned child in future chapters of several different stories, just so you know. I'm gonna go work on my very, very late Christmas story now. Man I'm lazy.


	4. Uncle Shockwave and Scrambled Brains

**Author's Note:** I was bored and It's pretty short, but I needed to update something else this week. There will be a longer chapter later though.

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For the first time in two months Frenzy was happy again. They had finally come back. Barricade, Ravage, and Soundwave had been away on a secret mission on Iacon back in Quasar-7, and Rumble had taken the opportunity to get thrown in the brig for two weeks.

Frenzy had warned him that having Cyclonus push Starscream out of a window wasn't a good idea, but his brother never listened. Sure enough it turned out that the seeker had his thrusters removed after being damaged in a fight a few days before, which meant poor Starscream went plummeting from the roof of the base and couldn't fly to safety. Rumble had almost gotten himself crushed when Megatron and the other seekers found out.

How were they supposed to know anyway?

Frenzy smiled as he and the newly freed Rumble entered the Space Bridge's break room. Barricade had promised to take them to out after their last guard shift, and Soundwave had opted to come along after his meeting with the boss. Meanwhile Ravage had been running around the base doing something, so Frenzy decided to sneak away.

Barricade was waiting just by the door, and as Frenzy was about to climb up to his shoulder, Rumble jabbed him roughly in the side.

"Ow! What the frag Rumble?"

"Look over there! Uncle Shockwave is back."

Frenzy giggled and waved at the large purple mech. Shockwave's single optic flickered for a second, as if he was annoyed. If it wasn't for Sideways' constant gossiping they would never have found out he was Soundwave's older brother. They weren't ever going to mention it to their creator though, the way the two acted around each other made it seem like even they didn't know the truth.

Barricade frowned slightly. "I thought he told you two to stop calling him that, and didn't you pick on him enough while we we're gone?"

"Well he deserves it, he's always ratting us out." Frenzy whined.

"I'm sure that's just part of his job. If Soundwave wasn't your creator he would probably be worse."

Rumble's eyes turned to dark red slits. "Just whose side are you on anyway man?" he turned away and ran towards the purple figure at the corner of the room.

"Come on Cade, play along 'kay?" Frenzy tugged on a large clawed finger, trying to pull his Guardian with him.

"Alright Frenzy, but only this once."

Rumble grinned as he skidded to a halt at the nearest table by the giant. He waited until the others caught up until he jumped atop the counter and pulled Frenzy up while Barricade pulled up a chair next to them.

The older twin sighed as he tried to act casual. "Well, that's another boring shift over and done with."

Frenzy nodded as he kicked his leg through the air. "Yeah, back to double duty tomorrow though."

"Hey, didn't Shockwave get promoted yesterday?" Barricade said winking at his tiny partner.

Frenzy tried his best not to giggle. "Yep. I wonder what he's doing right now…"

"Maybe he's guarding like a super secret weapon or something!" Rumble was a master at holding in a laugh, and acted genuinely excited.

Barricade smirked and turned directly to the glaring mech. "Or maybe he's right here guarding the Space Bridge…again."

"You three glitches are headed for an early termination!" Shockwave's repulsion cannon fizzled loudly as he aimed it at them.

Frenzy hopped of the ledge of the table and stood in front of the charging beam. "I'd love to see you try."

"Frenzy. Report Immediately."

Rumble jumped up on the spot, nearly falling over at the voice.

Frenzy screeched and grabbed hold of Shockwave's cannon, and tried climbing up until the huge mech shook his arm to fling him off.

"Shockwave stop." Soundwave sounded less than pleased with his brother, and Barricade quickly scooped up his tiny friends, keeping them out of harm's way.

"You should learn to keep a tighter leash on these things you consider younglings, or else I may have to speak to Megatron about them."

"You will do nothing Shockwave. Not if--"

"Come on, let's just go dad." Rumble whispered, trying not to sound whiny.

Their creator shot him a glare. "Rumble."

"Sorry Soundwave… I forgot."

"Uh, I'll just take them outside then…"

"That won't be necessary Barricade. Shockwave you will apologize."

"Just count yourselves lucky I am not going to Megatron."

"…Very well then. Come you two."

Barricade tried placing them on the ground, but Frenzy scrambled up his hand, grabbing pipes jutting out from the dark frame until he reached his partner's shoulder. Rumble glanced upwards until Soundwave bent down to pick him up. The blue and white didn't say anything about Frenzy's rejection, but did seem slightly agitated as he headed for the door.

"You should be with Soundwave, Frenzy." Barricade talked lowly, not wanting the others to hear.

"No way man, he just got back and he's already mad at me…"

"He's not mad, if anything he's missed you and your siblings. Now go, or I'll drop you." Barricade's look said he meant it.

"Ugh, fine." He jumped to the ground and scurried across the hallway floor, jumping up to cling to his creator's leg.

Soundwave seemed reluctant to hold him at first, but after a moment of silence he picked up his youngling by the neck.

"The next time Frenzy ignores a direct order he will be severely punished, understand?" Soundwave's voice didn't have to sound harsh to have an effect. The little spy whimpered as he hung limply in the air.

"…Yes sir."

Soundwave released the paralyzing hold on his youngest, and cradling the tiny bot in his hand, he gently tugged any visible wires. Frenzy couldn't help but giggle madly; the wires in his sides were extremely sensitive.

"No Soundwave, don't!" he squealed, kicking out his legs in protest.

Rumble climbed over to Frenzy and quickly covered his twin's body with his own, taking the 'punishment' on himself.

"Now you are cheating? That means the punishment applies to both of you." Soundwave proceeded to tickle them both until their intakes hummed for air.

"Do you give up?"

"Y-yes dad!" They called together.

"…You two were warned not to call me by that name; If Megatron overheard you he would have you put in the brig or worse."

"We're sorry Soundwave, we just really missed you." Rumble had the innocent look he only seemed to know when their father was around.

"Soundwave missed you as well." The mech gave a smile even though they couldn't see.

"Well this whole reunion thing is great and all, but I'm hungry so can we hurry it up?"

Frenzy giggled as they entered the hallway leading to the exit. "Sure thing Cade."

--

Frankie was bored. Cade's Interior was hot, and to save on energon he insisted on keeping the air conditioning off. Not only was his virtual self melting it's delicate interworking, but he'd forgotten his radio tuner back in his room. He needed music almost as much as he needed coffee. It was hard to remember small things like that when he was in this form, and it was even harder to pronounce names in cybertronian. Anytime they changed into the disgusting fleshy versions of themselves, their data got scrambled up worse than Slugfest's tofu egg smoothie. So they came up with nicknames for each other that the humans wouldn't find suspicious.

"Baird, can you turn on the radio now?"

"No, you know I hate the garbage they play." Baird, or Barricade's holoform, was glaring at him.

Frankie ran a hand through short black Mohawk, then started gnawing on his black painted fingernails. "Well it's not techno, but I'd rather listen to garbage than nothing."

The car in front of them nearly burned the rubber of it's tires as it took off and skidded around the curb.

"Hello may I take your order please?"

In the backseat Rayne's head popped up from his creator's lap, hissing at the female voice.

Baird thought for a moment. He hadn't used it in centuries so his new hologram software needed updates, and Hook had taken out it's hard drive. He couldn't picture the face, but he could've sworn he heard that voice before. He tried not to swerve as he turned the corner and came up to the window, peering inside.

"Baird, what are you doing?" Frankie climbed up to the front seat with his older brother, leaving Soundwave with Ravage in the backseat.

"I think I know her from somewhere…" He tried to focus, but nothing in his data could find the memory.

Rudy pointed while she was turned away. "That's Witwikky's mate!" He recognized her from all the footage Laserbeak had shot when the Autobots weren't paying attention.

"Ah! Let's get out of here I don't like her!" Frankie squealed and tried to hide beneath the dashboard.

"Yes, perhaps it is wise if we go somewhere else. She might have someone guarding her." Sanosuke said calmly as he patted Rayne's head. He seemed to talk more than his robot form did.

Baird pulled away quicker than the last car. "Oh, fine. I swear I'm going to starve before we get into Plucky's."

Frankie shuddered at the very mention of the name. "No way! Not that creepy chicken place. They make you pick which one they'll slaughter, it so sick."

--

"Remind me again why we're going to McDuffy's?" Baird groaned as he flicked on his turn signal.

Frankie and Rudy were playing I-spy, and Rudy was getting tired of losing. Frankie giggled and clutched his older twin to cheer him up.

"Cause I'm 'hungry', duh." Rudy turned away to stare out of the window.

Sanosuke was still alone in the back, and decided to remind them of his presence. "We cannot truly digest human food. It is impossible."

"Hey man, do us all a favor and stop harshing the dream mellow!" Frankie said lowly, not really wanting his creator to hear.

"…Pardon?" Sano's blank face tilted slightly, confused. Rayne had sat up, and covered his mouth as he held in a laugh.

"Oh who cares, we can always pretend! Besides our holoforms are always hungry, so we've got to do something about it! I say we should go to Burger Krown."

Baird was getting annoyed. "What in the pit for?"

"Cause we get super cool toys with the kid's meals man! Why else?" Rudy said, pulling away from Frankie's hug.

Frankie crossed his arms and pouted. "Fine…Have it your way!"

"Soundwave is so not loving this." Rayne hissed in agreement.

"Well, we gotta eat!" Baird was almost ready to jump out the window and let Rudy drive.

"But we cannot—" Sano started.

It was a green light, but Baird stopped just to look back. Even Rayne looked over to stare at him.

"If that's true then why did we see you scarfing down two boxes of powdered donuts before we left?" Rudy said, smirked.

Sano twitched slightly. "…I thought I told you to stop spying on me."

Frankie shook his head at his brother. "For shame Rudy."

Rudy slapped his arm and shoved him in the backseat. "He was there too!"

Frankie pouted again. "You're such a sell out."

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**Author's Note:** If there is an error somewhere I'll fix it later. If you have a complaint with the story itself, or the lack of one than you can stick it right up your nose. XD


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